Billers V. The Pleasure Co. (a family company)
Has anyone heard about the Supreme Court Case “Billers V. The Pleasure Co (a family company)”?
It all began in 2021, when the Oklahoma state government hired The Pleasure Co as a para-government organization to manufacture micro-filters designed to go in the gap between dopamine receptors in the human brain. These metal chips, called “pleasure chips” (and I thought pleasure chips were made of potatoes) would automatically connect to the local fiber internet and send in a report of how many pleasure points someone used that day. In addition to internet functionality, the pleasure chips had a GPS tracker which made the job of participating police officers easier.
After submitting themselves to the required-by-law installation process, each Oklahoman was allotted 1,000 pleasure points per day. Unused points could be kept for future days and would build into a kind of “pleasure fund”. A can of coke counted as 10p back in 2021, but these days it’s a mere 1p. Or, if a couple wanted to have intercourse they would have to live ascetically for about two weeks before having it as the pr rate for sex was 15,000p for the year 2021. These days, it’s 7,000p. As soon as someone did something pleasurable, the pleasure chip would send the information to The Pleasure Co (TPC). If a citizen’s pleasure rating exceeded 1,500 points, local authorities would track the person through the chip and bring them in for questioning. It was usually a pretty tame discussion about what they did that day. TPC also provided a growing list of activities and the pleasure rating corresponding with each. At the end of every day, citizens were expected to manually fill in a daily report on the website of what gave them pleasure and when so that the company could (to the best of their abilities) map activities to ratings. Wealthier citizens could install micro cameras in their tear ducts that would take and analyze pictures for what activity was being performed at the time of the dopamine release, colloquially referred to as “drops”. TPC then calculated the average pleasure ratings of every Oklahoman for each listed activity. TPC provided these pleasure rating lists free of charge on their website, “https://thepleasurecompany.gov/“. Currently, the site cannot be reached as TPC uses a private domain, accessible only to citizens of Oklahoma.
It took seven months for every citizen, aged 4 and up, to submit themselves to the installation process. It took three months to produce reliable pleasure rating lists. It took roughly five months for the local authorities to understand what and how to deal with citizens whose pleasure ratings exceeded 1,500p. The highest recorded pleasure rating to date is 15,000. That girl was on drugs—drugs!
But do you know who was not on drugs? Mr. Billers. Mr. Billers, 45, was sculpting as per usual in his studio, using a female model as he was wont to do (occasionally, he required a male model), when the local authorities kicked down his door. He was stunned and so was the model, naturally. They took him in for questioning, of course. They told him that his pleasure ratings spiked “well past the legal 1,500p”. Mr. Billers commenced a tirade against legislated morality and how if you’re going to do it right, you shouldn’t choose something arbitrary like finding the averages of pleasure in a given population. It might seem like it work, but it leads to more problems—like broken-window policing. You should choose something that gets the job done, like killing people. They say he spit on the officer. They say he went on to accuse Oklahoma’s governor of never having read any work of science fiction, for if she had, she would have known that anything involving technology and morality is “bad-news-bears”.
What ended up happening was that Mr. Billers appealed to the Bill of Rights and the right to free speech, interpreting a certain clause as a right to “pleasure as a result of self-expression”. He claimed this applied to art.
Fast forward, because I know you are bored: the Supreme Court ruled in favor for him 498-2 (back before they upped the SC number of judges to 1,000) and out from the whole deal came the “Right of Artists to Their Pleasure” that went through Congress. The bill states that artists under surveillance from a “Legislated Pleasure State” in the United States are allowed to receive an allotted 3,000p per day as opposed to the normal 1,500p. The technical definition of an artist was one who is either a sculptor, visual artist, film director, writer (and another 26 self-describing terms) by trade and must have a salary of 50k per year in order to qualify for the higher pr rate.
Now the hot-button question is this: “Do artists experience more pleasure than other people and should they be self-described?”
Statistics imply a firm yes for Oklahoma then went on to have the highest rate of self-described artists by state than any other state in the country.